The spoiled under-30 crowd

Email forward from my 언니... ^^ I'm sure it's been floating around the Interweb for a while but I thought I'd post anyhow. I wonder what us 20s folk will get to say to our kids?

Anyhoo, off to Jaaaaappppaaaannnn!
Your spoiled under-30er,
Cheri

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THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
With their tedious rantings about how hard things
Were when they were growing up;
What with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning …
Uphill BOTH ways.. YADDA, YADDA, YADDA

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
There was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap
Like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that…
I’m over the ripe old age of thirty;
I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You’ve got it so easy!

I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW GOOD YOU’VE GOT IT!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet.
If we wanted to know something,
We had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves,
IN THE CARD CATALOG!!

There was NO email!!
We had to actually write somebody a letter … WITH A PEN
Then you had to walk all the way across the street
And put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were NO MP3’s & NO Napsters!
You wanted to steal music,
You had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio
And the DJ’d usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We DIDN’T have fancy crap like Call Waiting!
If you were on the phone and somebody else called
They got a busy signal, that’s it!
And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID Boxes either!

When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was!
It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie,
Your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!!
You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games
With high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600!
With games like “Space Invaders” and “Asteroids” and the graphics sucked!
Your guy was a little square!
You actually had to use your imagination!
And there were no multiple levels or screens;
It was just one screen forever! And you could never win.
The game just kept getting
Harder and harder and faster and faster
Until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater
There no such thing as stadium seating!
All the seats were the same height!
If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you
And you couldn’t see, YOU WERE JUST SCREWED!

Sure, we had cable television,
But back then that was only like 15 channels
And there was no onscreen menu and no remote control!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide
To find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing!
You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV
To change the channel and
There was no Cartoon Network either!
You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.

DO YOU HEAR WHAT I’M SAYING
We HAD to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons,
YOU SPOILED LITTLE BRATS!

AND
We DIDN’T have microwaves,
If we wanted to heat something up
We had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire …
IMAGINE THAT
If we wanted popcorn,
We had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever
LIKE AN IDIOT!

That’s exactly what I’m talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy.
YOU’RE SPOILED !!!!!!!!!

You KIDS WOULD NEVER have lasted five minutes back in 1980’s!

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd